What exactly is self-care and why do men need it?

More than one in five Australian male adults reported symptoms of anxiety or depressive disorder during and following the pandemic, which means practising self-care in any capacity should become a priority.

So what better time than now to focus on your own mental health. We all know that everything works better with some preventative maintenance. Not waiting till it's broken – not waiting till it will cost you a lot to get fixed. You care for your car, your house, your kids and your partner. But what about you? Self-care is simply the act of taking time to focus on yourself. To make sure you’re operating at the best you can. To make sure that you’re not wearing out. So allocate some time, each day or week, to put other things on the back burner, and just do things that improve your mental health.

Because self-care has always been thought of (and particularly marketed) as something practised primarily by women, men are behind the curve and may not even know where to begin. But why should men even take the time to practise self-care? Well, just like women, we need to take control of our mental, emotional, and physical health.

Self-care is an incredibly personal practice, and there’s no “one-size-fits-all” kind of formula here. But that’s the beauty of it: Self-care can mean anything you want it to mean as long as it will help you stay well (physically and mentally). If you need a little help coming up with ideas on how to add self-care into your daily life, you’re in luck because we’re here to help!

Self-care tips: How to start a regimen that works for you

Self-care is best pursued one step at a time. Rather than try to overhaul your life overnight, pick one area where you can build a new habit. As you notice the benefits in this area of your life, you’ll find more motivation to shift toward self-care in other areas. Here are just a few ideas to get you started:

Get physical

Physical activity has shown to have great psychological benefits that include higher self-esteem, better sleep, and decreased feelings of depression and anxiety. When you engage in exercise, your body releases endorphins that help trigger a “feel good” sensation similar to that of morphine. It’s a great way to not only keep your body physically healthy and in shape but also set the foundation of any self-care regimen.

But physical activity is not only relegated to the gym. It can be as simple as getting out of the house and taking a stroll around the neighbourhood while soaking up some much-needed vitamin D. Bush walks and getting in tune with the elements are essential aspects of men’s self-care. Nothing beats inhaling fresh air, sitting in complete silence while the birds chirp, or even watching the breaks of the ocean’s waves. There’s something soothing and healing about nature, and it’s one of the best (and easiest) forms of self-care.

Recite affirmations

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that when a close friend of mine began to rave about the power of affirmations, I thought it was – well I didn’t think much of it, after all, how could uttering a few simple words really improve my life? Well, it turns out the joke was completely on me. Affirmations are positive statements that help you to “rewire” your mind and overcome self-sabotaging negative thoughts. Affirmations permeate our conscious and subconscious minds, helping to reprogram our thinking patterns.

The first place to start is to STOP the negative talk. That little voice inside that says you’re not good enough. You are and you should say that to yourself often.

Affirmations are incredibly personal and can be tailored to your preferences. Some people enjoy creating their own affirmations and reading them out aloud. Others prefer guided affirmations that you can find on YouTube. You could also do this while meditating. The best part about guided affirmations is that you don’t even have to really pay attention to what is being said as your subconscious is absorbing the message whether you are paying close attention or not. Adding affirmations to your self-care routine is definitely worth a try and should be followed consecutively for at least 30 days (once in the morning and again in the evening) for it to help shift your mindset.

Start journaling

No matter what hobbies you take up, every bloke should make a habit of journaling. No matter what form you adopt (bullet journaling, free writing, sketching, etc.), journaling trains your brain to search for positive things (gratitude, dreams, positivity) instead of focusing on the negatives or imperatives in your life. Over time, this habit rewires your brain in a way that benefits every area of your life.

Another benefit of journaling is that not only does it give you the opportunity for introspection, but it also gives you the space to write down your goals, track your progress, and keep yourself accountable.

Start using essential oils

Yes I know what you’re thinking but incorporating essential oils into your everyday routine is a simple yet effective way to practice self-care. Essential oils are compounds that are derived from plants (their scents and medicinal properties, or “essence”) and are often used in aromatherapy. Inhaling essential oils is thought to be beneficial for overall health because of how they interact with the limbic system. The great thing about essential oils is that there’s one for whatever concern you may have. Here are just some of the timeless essential oil staples:

• Peppermint: You can use peppermint to help improve concentration and focus, boost your energy, and stimulate your mind. Add in a diffuser or apply one drop under your nose when you need a little pick me up.

• Lavender: Lavender is great for managing stress and anxiety. Add it to a diffuser or use a carrier oil to dilute and apply topically.

• Cedarwood: This essential oil helps induce sleep and can be applied topically on the brow ridge, temples, and wrists.

• Rosemary: You can also apply essential oils to your hair to promote hair growth. Rosemary strengthens scalp circulation, preventing hair follicles from falling out.

• The great thing about essential oils is their versatility. You can add essential oils to your shower, diffuser, foot soak, massage oil, and even hair care for my balding brothers; the versatility of these oils is really limitless.

Create a solid night-time routine

I think this one should be at the top of the list because sleep is arguably the most important aspect of self-care, but it’s also probably the most overlooked. Establishing a night-time routine will not only help you “recharge your batteries,” but it will also help you feel refreshed, maintain a healthy weight, improve energy and productivity, and stay looking as good as you did 10 years ago.

If you have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep or struggle with racing thoughts at night (like I do), you’ll want to find ways in which you can reduce your stress, anxiety, and limit external stimuli. Creating a relaxing atmosphere is the key to creating an optimal sleep environment. Below are some things you can do to help create that atmosphere.

• Sip some calming tea: Herbal teas have been used for thousands of years, from ancient Chinese emperors to the British royal family and the health benefits are too hard to ignore. Just as some teas can be a great replacement for coffee to get your senses going in the morning, other teas with naturally occurring sedatives help to ensure relaxation and better sleep quality. Adding an herbal brew to the mix can have a calming effect that may help your body and mind prepare for sleep.

• Enjoy a weighted blanket: Weighted blankets are typically 5-30 pounds heavier than your normal doona and are a great way to alleviate anxiety and insomnia that may provide an alternative to traditional medications. This type of weight therapy is commonly known as “grounding,” in which deep-pressure touch is used to reduce cortisol levels and trigger the release of dopamine and serotonin.

• Slow down the mind with reading: Getting lost in a book (yes old school – not an electronic device) is a great way to signal to your brain that it is time to slow down and get some rest. Put down the phone, close your laptop, power off the television, and prepare for sleep by reading 15-30 minutes before bed.

Hop on the self-care bandwagon, men

There’s no denying that the past couple of years was one of the most stressful periods for many and who knows what’s around the corner. So with that in mind, we must all remember that self-care is crucial for fostering a healthy mind and for renewing our souls. What was once thought of “as something that wasn’t really meant for men” has become a way of life for the modern man. In order to live up to your full potential and achieve success, you must have a clear mind. And that is what self-care is all about.